CHAPTER 4
"CUT~TO.."
His lips are still on mine. After just a second too long, Matsumoto-san finally pulls away and I open my eyes for the first time.
He looks at me straight in the eye as if trying to say something without needing any words. We stay there for a while, and he finally pulls up his body and straighten out his shirt. He offers me a hand to pull me up.
Our breathings are still heavy from that kiss.
At the corner of my eyes I felt AD-san and the Director eyeing us. I felt my cheek is burning up.
Matsumoto-san breaks the silence, "So how about that, Toshi-san?" he lets out a laugh, "that drug sure is viscous, ne.."
"Brilliant," Director Toshi grins wide. I tried to let out a laugh at his casual joke but it screams awkward all over it.
"You are done for the day, Kitashiro-san, Matsumoto-san. Otsukare sama deshita~," AD-san bows to us.
We bow back. I steal a glance to him. My heart still beats so fast, the room seems to be spinning around.
And right there, Matsumoto Jun-san walks away calmly and coolly exiting the set as naturally as a salaryman leaving his office, without even giving me a second look.
I remembered that hard bulge I felt.
Either he is a very good actor or it was just all in my imagination.. or both.. Most probably, both.
----
I walk out from my dressing room and shuts the door close. Already back in my own clothes along with my duffle bag.
The hallway in the hotel that's especially book for the casts of the dramas is empty. I walk slowly through it.
Then I saw that door with a piece of paper that has "MAIN TALENT" written on it.
I stop and hesitate for a while. I still can feel his lips on mine.
Oh, what the hell..
I put down my bag to the floor and knock that door softly.
No answer.
I knock again.
And when I was about to give up, a voice calls out.
"Who is it?"
The voice is surely his. One of my trainers in New York said that a good voice for an actor is a bigger weapon than a beautiful face. Then, this guy surely got it all.
And every woman's heart. Perhaps, including mine.
"Kitashiro desu.." I say to the door.
Silence.
Then the door finally opens.
He is already in his ordinary clothes that ironically more stylish than his costumes for the role Akira. He also has this black thick-rimmed eyeglasses on.
As he caught my eye, I only manage to look down, didn't even dare to see him in the eye.
"I am going now..," I mutter softly, a bit too soft, "Ano.. I would like to thank Matsumoto-san so much for your help and support for today. I wouldn't be able to get through this day without it.."
He nods a gives me a smile that doesn't really reach to his eyes.
"Thank you," he finally answers coolly. "Don't mind so much about it. It's part of the job."
Silence.
He lets out a sigh and puts his hands into his jeans' pockets.
"And I will definitely buy Arashi CDs when I get back.. I really like that song," I gather up all my courage and look up to his eyes, expecting to find its softness and kindness.
But he just stare at me blankly. Indifferent.
"Domou arigatou gozaimasu," is all that he can say.
Silence.
Now this is awkward. Super awkward.
"Ja..," I finally manage to say again, "Otsukare."
He bows to me for a bit, "Otsukare."
I slowly pick up the bag from the floor when he shuts the door just right in front of me with a sharp bang.
I can't help but to feel a needle pin right through my heart.
This can't be right, can it?
I felt some tears well up in my eyes trying to break through but I blink over and over to hold it back.
Of course, who the hell am I to expect something more? This is after all just another day of work. Nothing else, nothing more.
Then I start to walk away from that door to the elevator. My feet feel a lot heavier but I finally manage to push the going down button.
The elevator gives its bell telling me that it has arrived to bring me down and I look back to his door.
The door is still at close.
------
The van is driving me back to home as I gaze to the moonlit sky when my phone rang. The caller ID says "Mika-chan"
"Moshi moshi," I answers softly.
"How was the shoot?" Mika-chan storms her with her million questions. Of course, she's my manager and she's just as excited with this job as I did.
"It was fine.."
"How is fine? What about your making out scene? What about your scene with Matsumoto Jun-san? What about Director Toshi? Did he say something about you?.. Oh chotto matte kudasai, I have to read this mail for a bit."
I silently wait.
"Rei-chan, you would not believe who just mailed me! It is Director Toshi, hold on, I'll forward it to you!" She exclaims excitedly.
"What did he say?"
"He says you were brilliant he will surely cast you again in his next drama!"
I manage to let out a small smile, though a bit sad, though Mika-chan couldn't able to see it, "Well that's something good to hear, right?"
"This is awesome Rei-chan, I know you can do it!"
"Mika-chan.."
"Yes?"
"Do you mind if we talk about this more tomorrow? It has been a long day I am really really tired.."
"Okay fine! But I expected details tomorrow! Especially about your scene with the mega super idol!"
She finally hangs up. I sigh.
What the hell am I supposed to tell her?
"Yes, Mika-chan, that mega super idol manages to make me fall in love with him AND completely breaking my heart in less than 24 hours.."
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I forgot to mention that this is my first fanfiction ever so comments, criticism and input will be highly appreciated. If you haven't read the previous chapters, you can always refer to the master post .
I don't know if you guys are familiar with Garasu No Kamen (Glass Mask), but it is an actual manga that I really love and hasn't reach any ending yet after more than a decade. It is about a super talented actress who works her way up in the entertainment industry and theatre to get the ultimate challenging and sacred role of The Red Angel, along with her rival Himekawa Ayumi. Maya also was romantically involved with his co-star Koji and the entertainment mogul Masumi Hayami. So yeah, it wasn't mine to claim. If you are interested to see it, the anime version has been subbed somewhere on the internet and I strongly recommend you to watch it. I think I've also seen a live action version of it on YouTube as far as I remembered.
I am sorry if my updates are short, but I am challenging myself to at least write one update each day. Since I have real life work that is not as fun as well I can only manage this much. Hope that you don't mind to bear it with me.
Oh, and I kinda miss my ni-ban as I am writing this fic, and the rest of Arashi members. So you will get more of him in this and further chapters 
You'll know who he is and why after you finish reading the chapter. Happy reading. Yoroshiku onegaishimasu.
CHAPTER 5
---18 MONTHS LATER---
I stared at the cover of that particular magazine so long my morning coffee has gone cold. Two too familiar faces are eternally giving their best smile to me with their arms around each other.
"Ohayou~," breaks the silence of the dressing room.
"Oi, Jun-kun, can't function yet?" The man I just stare at on the cover of the magazine now took off his jacket and throw it to the sofa next to me. I just give him a shrug as an answer. He takes a glimpse of the magazine lying in front of me. "Is that mine?"
"Think so. It was here before me," I take a sip of my coffee finally.
He took the magazine as he throws himself at the sofa and skims through it.
A minute later the other 3 are storming the room with their ohayous.
Sho and Ohno sits by the guy in the cover of the magazine and takes a quick look at the cover, whilst Aiba rushes to the toilet without closing the door to take a piss.
"Hey, is that..?"
I don't let Sho finish his question as I take out a novel out of my bag, "Oi, Nino.. So you accept that drama offer."
Nino throws the magazine to the coffee table and Sho takes it as his turn to skims through it. Nino instead gets his DS out and answers my question lazily, "Yeah, I finally did."
Aiba gets out of the toilet, "Garasu no Kamen, right? From that popular shojou manga?"
"I've read it yesterday, the story is very interesting. The manga is still not finished to this day. I think it's been more than a decade already," Nino explains without blinking his attention from the DS.
I take a sip of my coffee again, "My sister loves it. But there's no leading actor's part as far as I know."
"Yep. I am gonna act as Koji. It is a supporting role but his part is bigger in the drama than it originally is in the manga," Nino states calmly. He adds a bit of his notorious arrogance naturally, "Of course because I will gonna play the part."
"Johnny lets you do that?" Sho asks behind his newspaper he is starting to read sometime ago.
"He is a bit reluctant at first but it is Director Shinji. I want to work with him," and Nino gives a sly smile just before his next explanation that explains everything, "and the fee is that of a lead actor, but less work."
"That's perfect, ne? More sleeping time, same numbers," Sho mutters.
"Ne?" Nino agrees.
Ohno is reading the magazine and mumbles something behind it no one can hear.
"What, Oh-chan?" Aiba ask in between his sit ups.
I heard it and translate it flatly as I pretend to be absorb in page 10 of my novel, "He said 'kirei na'.."
Nino suddenly pauses his game, "Ne? Gorgeous isn't she? I just met her on that conference and photo shoot for the magazine. She's really something."
I feel Nino's eyes on my back, "Say, Jun-kun, you've acted with her before right?"
I blink a bit, "Hai, I did. Akira-sama."
Aiba grabs the magazine from Ohno, "Eh? Wasn't your co-star Mariko-chan in Akira-sama?"
I still keep my gaze to page 10, "It was only a few scenes. She was a guest star in Episode 9."
Aiba tilts his head and think hard to remember. Sho looks up from his newspaper, "Kitashiro Rei-san, is it? After that role she did with you she acted in 'Sakura' with Director Toshi again in a bigger role. It's a great drama. Her name rose up ever since. I've met her before."
I just know this info but try to tone down my tone of interest, "Did you?"
I would like to add 'where, when and how' to that question but thinks it will break my cool.
"Hai, Director Takashi Miike introduce me at Sono Sion's film premiere a few months ago. She acted in that, too," Sho gives a smile underneath his newspaper, "the word "gorgeous" is an understatement if you've seen her acting."
Give it to Sho-chan. We sometimes have similar taste in women for sure.
"I have seen that," Nino puts a finger on his chin, "She's indeed amazing. A total shoo in for the role of Kitajima Maya in Garasu no Kamen. How was your experience working with her, Jun-pon?"
Aiba suddenly stands up as he remember something. "AH! Matsujun did a sex scene with her! I watched that episode! So hot I got excited in front of the TV!"
I almost choke on my coffee and automatically throws my book at the baka.
"Hey! It was a compliment!" Aiba exclaims, "You ARE number one in terms of romantic scenes, Matsujun."
I stand up and pick up my fallen book and meet those 4 pair of eyes, "but it wasn't a sex scene. Just kissing. On-screen kissing. Work kissing"
"Jun-pon is so lucky. At that time that must be her first kiss on-screen," Nino smirks, "But kissing is kissing, Jun-kun, on or off screen. I've told you before."
I sit down again in front of table, having my back to him, "Well, work is work."
"Eh, Matsujun, did you get excited when you did that scene?" Aiba sits right beside me full of the curiosity of some pervert kid who comes across his first ever porn magazine.
I hit his head with my book, "Baka!'
"Ow!"
Nino turns on his DS again, "well, did you?"
I let out a sigh, "Stop bugging me. It's work. Acting. Period."
"You didn't answer the question," Nino is still glued to his DS.
"I would if I were you," Ohno suddenly chips in as he stares at the ceiling as if imagining something, he has been like this and has not move ever since Aiba took the magazine from him.
"Get excited when you kiss her, you mean?" Aiba really can't bring down his excitement even at this early of day.
"Uh-huh."
Sho laughs at this, "A good thing you've never had an on-screen kiss, unless with us 4."
Nino lets out a naughty smirk again, "But our Jun-pon here has kissed more actresses on screen than us 4 combined, so he would be entirely professional, ne? As he is so serious and passionate with his work of art."
That's sarcastic, you brat.
I just shrug. I don't want to lie. But that doesn't mean I will succumb to him either.
Silence creeps in the room for a while as Aiba doze off to sleep, Ohno also closes his eyes and Sho-kun reads his newspaper diligently. I can only hear Nino's DS sound effects at low volume. It is quite early. I glance to the door but no staff has come yet to announce that we should get ready for the photo shoot.
"Say, Jun-kun," Nino asks again beneath his DS.
"Yes?"
"You wouldn't mind if I go after her, then?"
I froze for a second.
"Why would I be?" My voice shakes for a bit but I hope Nino doesn't realize it.
All the kanji characters in my book blurred in my eyes even though I am wearing my glasses, "what happened to Aya-chan?"
Nino lets out a scoff, "It didn't work out."
"Oh," is all that I can say as I sipped another gulp of my cold coffee and silently hope that it brings down the fire burning underneath my chest.
----
The photo shoot for our latest single went smoothly despite my awful sulking mood. This is a worse feeling than losing in VS Arashi or not getting picked as Favorite Arashi Member in VIP Room. Being so out of work mode like this doesn't happen very often. Almost never.
As I did my idol pose between the other 4 members of Arashi, all that I can see between the flashes of the camera is my memory of her.
Her chirpy voice calling me 'Matsumoto-san'. Her light and rhythmic steps when she walks as if she can produce some lovely music just by doing that.
Her insecurities, her considerate nature towards others and amazing talent. I've only known her for a day but I could already make a detailed essay about her.
Maybe I should. But wait, that's way too dorky. And scary. Obsessively scary.
The Boku ga Boku no Subete we listened to together by the beach, along with the gushing wind and the crashing waves. And our fingers tangled together. Her smile, her laugh.
Stop it, Jun.
But I can't stop. The camera flashes again, and so are the memories within me.
Her first and last 'Otsukare'. And her teary eyes as she says that word.
The passionate yet soft touch of her lips. And intensity. I have to give her that. She pulls me in so deep I forgot we were on set, acting, and there are people there around us, watching us.
And more than a year after I still can feel the mark her lips made on mine.
I watched all her work after that day. Her movies, her dramas and CM. Over and over that I think I already memorized all lines she ever uttered on screen. Recorded neatly in a private folder on my hard drive. Yes, her name rises to fame in a mere 18 months, as expected from her amazing talent. Not to mention hard work and dedication. She was just a guest star with a few scenes back then with me as the lead actor and now she is the lead actress with a fellow member of my super idol group as a supporting cast.
She surely is something, I can still hear Nino's words ringing on my ears.
You got that right, brother.
Kirei na, even the absent-minded Riida notice that.
I did, too, Riida, I surely did.
She's amazing. The word gorgeous is an understatement if you've seen her acting, as expected from our Keio-boy.
She really is, Sho-chan, so much that it scares me. I never expected myself to fall in love that easily.
I steal a glance at Nino who did his 'I'm good looking guy' pose to the camera. And I surely didn't dare to dream that he would too.
Eh, Matsujun, did you get excited when you did that scene? Aiba-chan strikes again to the weakest point without him even realizing.
'Excited' would be an understatement as well, Aiba-chan.
Say, Jun-kun, You wouldn't mind if I go after her, then? Nino's words are at it again as he puts his arms around my shoulder for a two shot of us together.
Actually, yes, I do mind very much, Nino.
But I only have myself to blame when I chickened out and shut that door close in front of her as I fight the unbelievable urge to grab her and bring her inside. Into these very arms.
Let it go, Jun. Let it go. You have missed that one chance.
I let go the heavy breath that I was holding for a while and smile my best smile to the camera. To the world.
But still my heart feels like crying. That fire within my chest still hasn't burn out yet.
I feel like hitting someone with Domyouji style.