читать дальшеAuthor: ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=3)
arashixth
Pairing: JunXoc, NinoXoc (in some chapters), Matsumiya (friendship, in some chapters)
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Drama, Romance, and some friendship
Status: Ongoing
Length: Chaptered
Disclaimer: I never claim that I own MJ or Arashi, but sometimes I fantasize that I do.. And English is not my first language so please pardon any weird expressions or wrong grammar/spelling.
Summary: Kitashiro Rei is climbing up the ladder of being a leading actress. After some years of being in the shadows, she finally landed on a small role that actually have lines and some spotlight, in the arms of the Matsumoto Jun. In which Matsujun will never confess (or would he?) until one of the closest person to him in his life takes the role of the rival. Inspired by that one HNA episode where Kiritani Mirei guested in HNA.
PROLOGUE
“Kitashiro Rei, your big chance has come”, I said out loud to the girl looking back at me in the mirror as I take a deep breath.
I pull out my lipgloss and gloss my lips another layer.
The public toilet door suddenly opens and a group of 3 young girls fill up the spaces in the sink around me.
“I have to catch my breath.. He is just too beautiful.” One of them says as she smiles brigthly to her own reflection.
“To think he actually takes a look to our direction and smile..” Another one of them sighs dreamily.
I just smiled when one of them catch her look on me.
“Sumimasen..” , she asks as she takes a second look. “Are you also an extra for this drama?”
I just smile for a reply and packs up my things before I leave them.
No, I am not an extra this time around. I actually have a part and got to do the thing that you guys fantasizes so much before you close your eyes at night.
But I am not saying those lines out loud. It wasn’t nice. Yes, I am proud as I’ve worked so hard for this day to finally come.
CHAPTER 1
I walked in to my dressing room which I share with the other female casts. I gave one of them a smile, I have recognized her before.
Her name is Mariko something..
But she has appeared in some dramas. And I will be her childhood friend who just came back to town this time around.
She gives me a half-hearted smile as I enter the room.
Ah, the perks of ultimate fakeness of the entertainment industry.
“Konnichiwa,” she greeted me.
I nodded and smiled back as a reply. But I smiled sincerely, unlike her. This time I hold no grudge to anyone as I landed at this part.
“Ano, My name is Kitashiro Rei, I will be your bestfriend ‘Tomoko’ in this episode, yoroshiku onegaishimasu,” I finally manages to blurt it out softly. Acting skills are not the only things needed to reach my dreams.
Mariko smiles back, as fakely as before, “Yoroshiku, ne.”
She doesn’t bother to give me her name. She must have expected that I remembered it. Well, I do. Only her first name, though.
“It's a bit odd, though. In this episode you are going to cheat with my character’s boyfriend. In their world, they wouldn’t say ‘yoroshiku’, I bet,” she slyly remarked.
“Most probably,” I managed to answer.
Ah, yes. That scene. As though I can forget.
“I have spare mints if you forgot to bring some. Absolute necessity,” Mariko later added.
“Domou.”
Geez, is this what professional actresses do? If you see someone’s pressured, you should put more to it?
“You shouldn’t be nervous, though. Jun-kun is such a gentleman,” Mariko continued with a smile. “Of all the people in the world, I should know that.. Have done this kind of scenes with him in this drama a million times.”
Okay, jealous much?
Just as she finished tidying up her already perfect hair, Mariko gives Rei a pat on her shoulder before leaving her alone.
“Ganbatte ne,” and with that she slams the dressing room’s door shut.
I let out a breath of relief. At least I can read the sсript in peace now. I have to do something to brush away this nervousness. Nervous is never good. At least in my dictionary.
I went through the stuff I brought in my duffel bag. I should work hard. I shouldn’t mess this up. This is the time I can actually prove myself. One step closer to my dream as a leading actress.
And if I have to give my first kiss on and off screen with an idol I barely even knew, what’s so wrong with that?
The words written on the sсript haunts me.
INT. AKIRA’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
Akira shuts the door.
AKIRA
You shouldn’t be here. Rina-chan would get the wrong idea.
TOMOKO
Then why did you close the door?
Whatever happens behind closed doors would only be known to the ones behind them.
Akira doesn’t answer. He looks away
TOMOKO
Why do you never want to look at me?
Akira looks out of the window.
TOMOKO
Did I remind you of something painful to you?
Akira shoots her a look. Tomoko walks closer to him until her face is just inches away from his.
Tomoko kisses his lips softly, lightly.
TOMOKO
Was it someone special?
Tomoko kisses him again. With more urgency.
TOMOKO
Someone even Rina-chan can’t replace?
Akira finally kisses her back. Pushing his body to hers so hard they fall to the bed next to them and deepened their kiss.
I took another deep breath, completely closing my eyes to get my heartbeat back to its usual rhythm.
Yabai..
Especially imagining that Akira will be acted by none other but the Matsumoto Jun of Arashi.
CHAPTER 2
I walk alongside AD-san (stands for Assistant Director) as she takes me to the set by the beach. From afar I can see an old house not far from the shore.
AD-san seems to be able to read my mind correctly, "As the sun sets, we will move to that house for Scene 60."
By scene 60 she means the scene of me kissing Akira, or Matsumoto Jun..
"Hai, wakarimashita," is all I can get out of my mouth.
But AD-san smiles understandingly, "You must be nervous."
I let out a small laugh.
AD-san continues, "I would if I were you. And we haven't been able to get you rehearse that scene with Matsumoto-san himself. I hope you understand but an idol's schedule is a nightmare. If you see how his schedule makes my life a living hell.. On second thought, no, I won't be nervous. Working with his schedule in this drama kills every single fangirling tendencies in me."
Now she succeeded in making me laugh, "Were you a fan?"
She smiles, "Not much. But I cried on every episode of Hanadan. Which female did not?"
"That's true," I added, "Domyouji is every woman's dream."
"You watch it as well, Kitashiro-san?" AD-san asks again.
"Yes. Not that I am a big fan, but he is awesome in that," I said softly, "I wish I can learn something from him today."
"He is a great guy, aside from his brutal schedule that is, and you will learn a lot from him," AD-san gives me a little squeeze.
"Okay, we are here," she stops as we reach another part of the beach
Behind us a group of extras has been sitting by on standby. In front of us, the crews are setting up the scene.
Everyone is busy with objects; lights, camera, microphones, props, costumes..
In a corner near the rocks, that's the first time I saw him live. Slouching in his seat reading the sсript with an ipod and earphones.
He is already in his costume, a dark blue cotton pants and a V-neck tshirt. Not much different from what I'm wearing, a short jeans and tank tops. But everything about him is different. First, he is surrounded by 2 staff, one is shading him with an umbrella and another is sitting by him talking on the phone furiously. That must be his PA (personal assistant) and his manager. Secondly, he is overflowing with this star aura. No sign of being nervous nor indifferent. Even though most of the extras behind me is keep snatching a look to him, trying to get his attention to no avail. Thirdly, he looks..
"Gorgeous, isn't he?" AD-san wakes me up, again, reading my thoughts exactly.
"Beautiful," I corrected AD-san and it makes her laugh.
"I think he'll like you. Come on, I'll introduce you and brief you guys together,"
I took a deep breath as we approach the man of the day.
"Sumimasen, Matsumoto-san," AD-san bows as we reach the destination.
Only his manager looks up. He gives us a smile as he nudges Matsumoto's knee.
He finally looks up to his manager and his manager instructs with his eyes. Matsumoto-san finally looks up to us, the smiling AD and the nervous co-star, though not much of a star.
I'll never forget that look. His super big brown eyes with a glitter that is both passionate and mysterious.
He gives me a thorough look from the head to toe. That look should be illegal. My heart gives a little nudge. I smile. He smiles back.
His smile is different than that of Mariko's. It wasn't a halfheartedly smile. It was sincere, but unsure. An unsureness that he deliberately doesn't try to cover up.
AD-san introduces us, "Matsumoto-san, this girl is the one who gets through the casting process to be Tomoko, as you've probably have read in the sсript. Her name is Kitashiro Rei-san desu."
To my surprise he immediately rises up from his seat and bows, "Hajimemashite, Matsumoto Jun desu."
"Yoroshiku onegaishimasu," I bow and whispers the words softly.
As I rises up from my bow, he smiles brightly to me, "I am sorry because of my schedule we can't have any rehearsal before this. But I hope we can work well together either way."
I bet that smile can melt the thousand years ice in North Pole. His big brown eyes scrunches a bit as he smiles.
Manager-san, who is still on the phone, rises up as Matsumoto-san gives him a nudge to get his out of his seat.
"Please sit down, Kitashiro-san," Matsumoto-san is still smiling.
A big star with a big heart. It should be illegal to be that perfect.
AD-san gives us a quick briefing, "So first of all we are going to work on Scene number 59 by this beach. Akira-san is walking by the beach with Rina-chan. As Rina chan leaves the scene, Tomoko-chan will sits next to Akira and do the dialogues. We are going to do that scene in about an hour after setting up is done, right over there where the camera is setting up. Director Toshi is going to explain further regarding this scene. Hopefully we can finish up by 3 o'clock at the latest for this scene and we will move up to the house scene for scene number 60.. My assistant is getting Mariko-chan, but she's not ready yet, so would you two please read the scene by yourself first and Director Toshi shortly will arrive to give you directions. I am sorry Matsumoto-san, I know that you prefer to work on rehearsal according to with full cast but Mariko-chan has some trouble with her costume. Any question? Kitashiro-san?"
She caught me off-guard, "Wow, you sure can talk really fast."
AD-san laughs, and so is Matsumoto-san.
"I am sorry, I am very new with all this so I will work hard to adjust," I shyly adds, embarrassed to be laugh at.
"No, she does talk really fast and clear she should be an announcer," Matsumoto-san calmly added and looks up to AD-san, "I've said the exact same thing to her the other day."
He smiles again to me, I look away. I feel his gaze stays on me for a while but I don't dare to look up again.
"My job is to keep up with the schedule, Matsumoto-san, Kitashiro-san, so I have to talk fast. It saves a lot of time," AD-san answers cheerfully, "But I enjoyed behind the scenes work, I won't be an announcer because I don't want fangirls to look at me all the time during work."
AD-san signals to the group fangirls/extras who still can't keep their eyes and drools off the Matsujun.
"It has its perks, sometimes," Matsumoto Jun remarks with a smirk.
I laugh nervously, there's a hint of naughtiness in his remark. I open the sсript and starts to read. I am overwhelmed in the kiss scene too much I almost forgot that there's a long dialogue scene I have to do with him before we are actually doing the big scene.
AD-san gets a call in her walkie talkie, "Hai, i'll be there soon," she answers with an exasperated sigh.
"I'll be back soon, Matsumoto-san, Kitashiro-san," she bows to us and runs off soon after.
We nodded and I watch her as she runs off. I feel Matsumoto-san's movement beside me. He puts on his earphone back and read his sсript again.
I kinda get the point that he is still concentrating with his sсript and without saying anything I read mine as well.
Even though my heart rate beats faster than it used to being beside him like that, I try to concentrate.
Boy, this is harder than I expected.
As the sсript pulls me in, I didn't notice a small look that Matsumoto-san gives to me, then a small smile.
20 minutes have passed by, or perhaps a half an hour. I don't really acknowledge time passing by as we sit next to each other in that beach. We were not alone. Tens of pair of eyes are watching us, but we are content in our own world. I am completely inside Tomoko's head now as i read the sсript. This is one of the things that I love most about acting, you can actually forget yourself and transferred to another world for a while.
To the extent that I didn't hear his voice calling my name until i felt a soft touch on my shoulder.
"Kitashiro-san.."
I startled as the touch gives enough electricity to wake up the dead.
"I am sorry I don't mean to surprise you," he gives a smirk. He surely finds my shocked face entertaining. He doesn't wait for my forgiveness, "Have you memorized all of it? Can we rehearse a bit?"
I nodded shyly and close the sсript. Matsumoto-san did the same.
I close my eyes for a bit, calling Tomoko back to me after Matsumoto-san scares her away with his touch. She returns instantly.
I open my eyes and gives Tomoko's sly smile when I turn my head to Matsumoto-san's Akira.
"So Akira-kun is enjoying himself.."
Matsumoto's Akira holds my gaze for a second that seems like forever. As the sсript indicated, he looks away after a while.
"What are you doing here?" he sighs
"Can't I?"
"Why this spot? There are a lot of other spaces left.."
"But I wanna be where Akira-kun is.."
I lay my head on his shoulder. He shrugs it off a second too late.
"Why?" He snaps.
"Why? Why? You act so high and mighty and yet pushes in your charm to every girl crossing your path. Why, oh, why Akira-kun must know the reason if someone wants to do the same to you.. I wanted to charm you. Why do I want it?.."
Akira cuts in just as he is supposed to, "you just want to hurt Rina-chan."
I smile, well at least, Tomoko smiles, "No.. I just find you irresistible."
I look up to him and met his eyes and keep them there. For a while, I forgot about Tomoko or Akira. I forgot about our surrounding. Right at that moment, it was just the two of us. Matsumoto-san stays quiet and keep his eyes on mine with this indescribable expression. And suddenly he realizes something, he looks a way and gives a nervous laugh.
"Oh sorry, I forgot it is supposed to be my line."
"I think you just need to leave and it ends there, then I will run after you," I check the sсript again. Anywhere to look but that big brown eyes.
"So we got it down?" He looks up and smiles. I give him a nod.
"Where did you learn acting?"
Now that's a question I didn't expect from a lead actor to his guest star.
"Various places. My mom and dad moves around a lot because of their job, but I am pretty determined with what I wanna do in my life so I am pretty active in theatre, ballet and acting classes since I was a little," I tell him my story. A bit too much but he seems interested.
"By moving around a lot, do you mean overseas?" Boy, this guy is very detailed.
"Most of it is in Japan, but I've studied acting in New York before," I humbly states.
"I've watched some broadway shows a couple of years ago," he immediately chips in information.
"Really? Which one?"
"Phantom of the Opera, Lion King, Billy Elliot," he tries to remember.
"I cried during Billy Elliot, both the musical and the film," now I have completely forgot that I am chitchatting with a national super idol. "Did you cry during Billy Elliot?"
He lets out a smirk. And thinks for a while.
"Secret," as he puts a finger in front of the mole just below his lips.
I laugh, "No fair."
"Iwa-kun," he instructs his PA who is still there holding an umbrella all the time, "can you get us our bento, please? And a hot tea for me," he then turns to me, "what do you want to drink?"
"I have my own water, thank you," I showed him my bottle of water.
As Iwa-kun fetch our bentos, he suddenly asks, "do you mind if I drink your water?"
I gulped.
No i don't mind, but does people do this to someone they just met?
I shake my head and give my bottle to him. He drinks it with a smile.
As he give the bottle back to me, I took another sip nervously. The water somehow tasted different now, in a good way of course.
"Just take it as a warm up for the scene we have to do later today."
I choked on my water and coughs. He laughs and pats my back.
"Sorry, just teasing you," he adds between his laugh.
Iwa-kun walked back to us with our bento.
Matsumoto-san opens his as I open mine. He splinters his wooden chopstick and scratch one with the other diligently. I pull an eyebrow at this. This guy is kinda..
"Such a dork, isn't he?" I look up and AD-san has come back and again has read my mind. Matsumoto-san just smirked and eat in silence.
"As you finish up your lunch, please get to the set and we will start. Director Toshi has arrived and would like a word with both of you. Mariko will be here soon as well," AD-san informs in one breath before she runs away again to the set.
Matsumoto-san puts his bento away for a while and takes out his earphone again. Selecting a track in his iPod. Then he puts one earphone to his ear and offer me the other earphone with a smile.
I nodded as a thank you and puts one in my ear.
An unfamiliar song came through the earphone. I am not really an avid music listener but it was relaxing. We continue to eat without a word.
Sometimes I catch a glimpse of him, shaking his head and mumbling to the beat of the music we are listening to. He is so sparkling under the scorching sun that I can't take my eyes off him for a while.
I have to look away, look away! Look away before he catches you and you wouldn't have the courage to kiss him later!
All of a sudden, I can't wait to work on that kissing scene with him.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Any criticism and input will be appreciated. Here is Chapter 3. If you haven't read the first two chapters, you can always refer to the master post.
In addition, the Cut~to is supposed to be "Cut" but I notice from behind the scenes that the Japanese say it this way. And "Start~to" for "Action". I know it supposed to be spelled differently in Katakana but since this fic is in English I just think it makes sense better this way.
CHAPTER 3
"Cut~to!"
Director Toshi cries out happily.
"That's brilliant Matsumoto-san, Kitashiro-san. Please check the VTR!"
Matsumoto-san gave me an approval smile before started to walk to the director's monitor.
I played with the sand a bit underneath me as silence creeps in as Matsumoto-san, Mariko and Director Toshi along with AD-san checks the video.
"OK!" Director Toshi cries out again.
AD-san automatically repeats after him, much louder, "It was an OK! Please get ready for the next shot."
Matsumoto-san walks silently back to his seat whilst Mariko is giving me dagger looks. I look away and plays with the sand again until AD-san approaches me.
It is not my fault that you keep messing up with your lines..
"Kitashiro-san, sugoi ne, you manage to do every shot of you an OK in one take only!" She exclaims so loud it is almost as if she meant it for someone else to hear, "Actresses like you are surely going to make it big because you took your work so seriously."
"Thank you, AD-san. You compliment me too much. It is all thanks to the help of Matsumoto-san. He keeps me relaxed."
"He is an amazing actor and he can sense it when people get nervous around him. Anyways, we are done with you for this set. We still need to get a shot of some extras and other establishing shots but you and Matsumoto-san should just head to the next set. It is comfortable there and no one is going to give you dagger looks anymore," AD-san implies with a soft voice, still fast though.
I think being extremely observational is a must if you work as an Assistant Director.
"Mariko-chan, you are done for the day. Otsukare!" AD-san yells out to the sulking Mariko at the top of her lungs.
I walk back slowly to Matsumoto-san's seat where I left my bag. He was still there, drinking his tea.
As I walk to the old house, I find him trailing behind me.
"Director Toshi likes your acting, he said to me you are very intuitive yet smart," he says in a low voice when he passes by me without stopping even just for a step.
He looks to me over his shoulder, "I just thought you would like to hear what he said."
With that he gives me the sincerest smile I've received all day.
"Thank you!" I yell out as he walks away leaving me behind. He only waves it away with a hand.
Not just for forwarding that compliment, but for being you.
I really wanted to add that line, but just take a deep breath instead. The idea of having him as the first guy to kiss me on and off screen now sounds more and more inviting. Yet, it gets me more and more nervous and the clock ticks closer and closer.
-----
"Cut~to"
Director Toshi cries out desperately now, "Kitashiro-san, please get a grip of yourself already!"
Matsumoto-san have erased Akira-kun's troubled expression away and exchange it with a supporting smile. He punches my shoulder softly, "Don't be so nervous."
Maybe I should tell him that being that sweet will make a girl MORE nervous.
It has been 6 takes already and whenever I deliver the last line before kissing him, I always mess it up. I never mess any lines before. Not that I have many of them in dramas and movies before, but even in theatres, I always manage to deliver them perfectly. It is not even a hard line to say.
Did I remind you of something painful to you? Did I remind you of something painful to you?
Did I remind you of something painful to you?
I keep repeating that line over and over again in my head as we are getting ready for another take.
"Relax, 7 is the magic number. It says so in Harry Potter," Matsumoto-san whispers softly.
Harry Potter? Is this guy for real? I am about to give my lips' virginity and he is mentioning Harry Potter?
Okay, so nobody is perfect. Including him. He could not always say the right thing at the right time. Even when he did, it backfires most of the time.
I just let out a small smile.
AD-san comes over me and gives me a squeeze, "Kitashiro-san, Director Toshi wants me to forward this message. He says it is not you, Kitashiro Rei, kissing Matsumoto Jun, it is Tomoko-chan kissing Akira-kun."
She lets me go with a smile.
It is not me, Kitashiro Rei kissing Matsumoto Jun, It is Tomoko-chan kissing Akira-kun. It is Tomoko kissing Akira. It is Tomoko kissing Akira.
I repeat it over and over in my head, trying to believe in its truth. Okay, this seems like it will work.
"START~TO"
Okay, here we go.
In just a second, Matsumoto-san turns into Akira-kun's with his fidgety movements, deeply troubled expression and heavy breathing. This guy is a genius. And as a plus he has done this kind of job like a million times it comes so naturally for him.
"You shouldn’t be here. Rina-chan would get the wrong idea," He says under that heavy breathing with just the right hint of panic and irony of how different his action and words are as he locks the door of the room.
"Then why did you close the door?Whatever happens behind closed doors would only be known to the ones behind them," the Tomoko in me delivers her line perfectly.
Akira-kun doesn't answer.
"Why do you never want to look at me?" I give it a hint of disappointment instead of being full on flirty and sexy.
"Did I remind you of something painful to you?" I finally says it as I walk closer to him.
Okay, this is it. It is now or never.
I close my eyes and touch my lips to his. His lips are so soft I felt something hard knocks on my chest. And he smells really good..
"CUT~TO!!!!!"
Director Toshi now arrives on the scene.
"NOW WHAT WAS THAT? You are supposed to be dying to kiss him! You want him so much it hurts! And just now you kiss him like it is something so scary to do! Obligation! Work! I need passion!" He screams at me just inches away.
Tears start to roll down my cheek. But it wasn't the Director's words that put me to the edge. It was that I just kiss him horribly and it was my first kiss.
I let out a sob and storms out of the room before whispering something like, "Can I have a minute, please?"
-----
I ran to the beach, to the rocks where I met Matsumoto-san for the first time and taking a deep breath. Tears keep rolling down and I brushes it away. I shouldn't cry. I shouldn't cry. It is my own fault that I never hang out much and keep by myself with the NO APPROACH sign on my head which made me never been kissed before. Hell, no guy even have ever held these hands before, let alone kissing! When I was bound to have this kind of scene sooner or later. I am 23 years old for God's sake. And having my first kiss with a super idol who is super nice shouldn't be a bad thing right? Why am I crying? What would be better than this?
Did i just wish that it was a different situation, anything but work that we got paid from doing it?
"Daijoubu desu ka?" A deep voice calls softly behind me.
It is, of course, so sweet it is sickening, Matsumoto Jun desu.
"I am sorry. I know this is unprofessional, but I just need some time alone," I can't take it anymore, I muttered in a shaky voice.
Instead, he just sits beside me and lets out his iPod again. Can this guy take a hint?
"Are you familiar with my bandmates?" He suddenly asks.
"You mean, Arashi?" I answers dumbfounded.
"You know even though I have acted in a lot of dramas and movies throughout my career, the 'actor' in our group is actually Nino. Ninomiya Kazunari, are you familiar with him?" He states this as he tries to find a track in his iPod.
"Yes, I have watched some of his work," still in my shaky voice. What is he trying to say, I start to wonder.
"He told me before, he hates kissing scenes and even rejected some roles because of having too many of that kind of scenes. Well he did not rejected ALL of it, but kissing scenes and love scenes does make him kinda reluctant," He smiles as he finds the track that he is looking for.
"Why.."
He didn't let me finish and already giving an answer, "he says it is like a scene when you have to die, then do you die for real? Something like that. Until now I didn't quite grasp the meaning of his words but I keep doing this. Kissing scenes, love scenes. Hell, I've already kissed 3 girls in this drama alone including you. They are just a part of our work, right? Consequences of our dream. People tell me that I think too much. But regarding this kind of thing, I don't really think that much or I wouldn't be able to do it. Sometimes it is good that you just forget yourself for a while and go with what is in front of you."
He lets out a small laugh in between his speech, "I learnt that from Aiba-chan. It is very useful sometimes, once i managed to brush off my 'too much thinking' tendencies. But it gets me to experience many interesting and unforgettable moments."
He presses PLAY on his iPod and give me a half of his earphones, "Let's hear a song and we'll head back right after. Deal?"
He looks deeply into my eyes under the moonlight. It's the longest talk he says to anyone during the day as far as I notice and he even lets out his personal thoughts. I gazed at him and when he catches my eyes with his big brown eyes, I couldn't look away anymore.
"Can you play the song that you play this afternoon?" I still can't look away and neither does he.
He smirks, "You don't need to ask." He doesn't select another song and when I hear the tunes from half of the earphones, it is exactly the same relaxing song.
We sit there side by side watching the waves crashing by the shore, listening to the same song again.
"Matsumoto-san.."
"Yes?"
"What's the name of this song?"
"Boku ga Boku no Subete, from Arashi."
Silence. Just the waves and the lovely tunes.
"Matsumoto-san.."
"Yes?"
"Please tell me if this is out of the line, but can you just hold my hand until the song ends?"
Matsumoto-san opens his mouth in surprise for a while. I catch his eyes with my watery eyes. But then he just smiles..
"Sure."
And with that he takes my hand and hold it tightly in between his fingers.
Warmth. Lesson of the day: A super idol has a warm hand.
I wipe away all the leftovers of my tears, "Thank you, Matsumoto-san."
------
"START~TO"
"You shouldn’t be here. Rina-chan would get the wrong idea,"
"Then why did you close the door?Whatever happens behind closed doors would only be known to the ones behind them,"
"Why do you never want to look at me?"
"Did I remind you of something painful to you?"
The lines are delivered one by one in perfect timing, perfect delivery.
I walk closer to Tomoko-chan's Akira-kun. My Matsumoto-san.
This is not me, Kitashiro Rei, kissing Matsumoto-san. This is Tomoko kissing Akira. Tomoko kissing Akira. And she wants him so much that it hurts. Passion. Lust.
I give Matsumoto-san's Akira-kun a good look. His hair stands up perfectly, his eyes has this mysterious aura to it that I find very sexy.. And.. Yes. Tomoko wants him. So much that it hurts.
I close my eyes and grab his neck to give the guy the kiss he will never forget.
Matsumoto-san jerks his body a bit, startled it seems. I pulls away for a bit, just inches away from his beautiful face.
I whisper softly, "Was it someone special?"
I kiss him again. Softly this time. A quick soft peck on his lips, another on his mole just below his lips.
"Someone even Rina-chan.."
"CUT~TO!!!"
Matsumoto-san pulls away abruptly. A bit too fast after the cut.
Director Toshi storms the scene again, "Kitashiro-san, that's exactly what I am talking about! Nice improv. Please do it again one more time!"
Then he turns to Matsumoto-san, "Jun-kun.."
"Hai.."
It is the first time I got a good look on him after that kiss. He seems a bit troubled. Which makes me troubled. Was I bad at kissing? Did I smell bad?
"What do you think about Akira's feelings when Tomoko kiss him?"
"She smells exactly the same as Masami, his dead first love."
Director Toshi adds with a punch at every word, "Whom he MISSES so bad, whom he DREAMS about every night and who he WANTS to get back to so bad but he can't! Your reaction was too taken aback. This kiss has to be different than the other kisses in this drama you've done. You have to show your need!"
Matsumoto-san looks up and stares right into my eyes, "Like I haven't got to eat for days and finally the food is there in front of me.."
He is making me an analogy for food? Is this guy for real?
Director Toshi shakes his head, "Food is bad analogy. More like a drug. This addictive drug."
"Wakarimashita," Jun finally says after thinking about it for a while, all along still holding his gaze right through me.
We are back into our positions in no time.
"Gomen, ne," Matsumoto-san whispers in my ear as he brushes his hand to my arms. My heart jolts at his touch.
"START~TO"
We are at it again in a second.
"Did I remind you of something painful to you?"
Matsumoto-san's Akira-kun just look at me. Hurtful. But he lets me walk closer.
I took one of his hand and put it on my cheek. I put my face a lot closer to him, just inches away. Inches away from the kiss. I get closer to his ear instead, as if wanted to whisper something but, instead, put my mouth on his.
That bit about Tomoko's smell give me this idea. It sends shivers down my spine.
"Was it someone special?" I asked again in a whisper before another soft kiss planted on his lips, then his beautiful mole.
"Someone even Rina-chan can’t replace?" I finally adds again before kissing him again, with more passion. With lust. With wanting.
And all of a sudden Matsumoto-san brushes away my hand that's holding him and cup my face instead. Returning my kiss with need. With lust exploding to its utmost extent.
He puts in his tongue into my mouth. I did the same. As if we are lovers who haven't met for years.
Tomoko-chan kisses her Akira-kun. Tomoko-chan finally kisses her Akira-kun.
I occasionally broke away from the kiss to catch some air, but Matsumoto-san didn't let go that easily and pushes his body to mine and sought after my mouth. His body pushes me to the bed and now I am underneath him, his body right against mine. I feel my blood boiling with passion. And somehow I felt it. I felt it against my crotch that a hard bulge appears just underneath his cotton pants. I kiss him again passionately, wanting more, needing more. I forgot that there are crews around us, watching us. All there is in this world is just me and Matsumoto-san.
No.. This is not Tomoko-chan. He is not Akira-kun. This is me, Kitashiro Rei, kissing my Matsumoto Jun.
arashixth Pairing: JunXoc, NinoXoc (in some chapters), Matsumiya (friendship, in some chapters)
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Drama, Romance, and some friendship
Status: Ongoing
Length: Chaptered
Disclaimer: I never claim that I own MJ or Arashi, but sometimes I fantasize that I do.. And English is not my first language so please pardon any weird expressions or wrong grammar/spelling.
Summary: Kitashiro Rei is climbing up the ladder of being a leading actress. After some years of being in the shadows, she finally landed on a small role that actually have lines and some spotlight, in the arms of the Matsumoto Jun. In which Matsujun will never confess (or would he?) until one of the closest person to him in his life takes the role of the rival. Inspired by that one HNA episode where Kiritani Mirei guested in HNA.
PROLOGUE
“Kitashiro Rei, your big chance has come”, I said out loud to the girl looking back at me in the mirror as I take a deep breath.
I pull out my lipgloss and gloss my lips another layer.
The public toilet door suddenly opens and a group of 3 young girls fill up the spaces in the sink around me.
“I have to catch my breath.. He is just too beautiful.” One of them says as she smiles brigthly to her own reflection.
“To think he actually takes a look to our direction and smile..” Another one of them sighs dreamily.
I just smiled when one of them catch her look on me.
“Sumimasen..” , she asks as she takes a second look. “Are you also an extra for this drama?”
I just smile for a reply and packs up my things before I leave them.
No, I am not an extra this time around. I actually have a part and got to do the thing that you guys fantasizes so much before you close your eyes at night.
But I am not saying those lines out loud. It wasn’t nice. Yes, I am proud as I’ve worked so hard for this day to finally come.
CHAPTER 1
I walked in to my dressing room which I share with the other female casts. I gave one of them a smile, I have recognized her before.
Her name is Mariko something..
But she has appeared in some dramas. And I will be her childhood friend who just came back to town this time around.
She gives me a half-hearted smile as I enter the room.
Ah, the perks of ultimate fakeness of the entertainment industry.
“Konnichiwa,” she greeted me.
I nodded and smiled back as a reply. But I smiled sincerely, unlike her. This time I hold no grudge to anyone as I landed at this part.
“Ano, My name is Kitashiro Rei, I will be your bestfriend ‘Tomoko’ in this episode, yoroshiku onegaishimasu,” I finally manages to blurt it out softly. Acting skills are not the only things needed to reach my dreams.
Mariko smiles back, as fakely as before, “Yoroshiku, ne.”
She doesn’t bother to give me her name. She must have expected that I remembered it. Well, I do. Only her first name, though.
“It's a bit odd, though. In this episode you are going to cheat with my character’s boyfriend. In their world, they wouldn’t say ‘yoroshiku’, I bet,” she slyly remarked.
“Most probably,” I managed to answer.
Ah, yes. That scene. As though I can forget.
“I have spare mints if you forgot to bring some. Absolute necessity,” Mariko later added.
“Domou.”
Geez, is this what professional actresses do? If you see someone’s pressured, you should put more to it?
“You shouldn’t be nervous, though. Jun-kun is such a gentleman,” Mariko continued with a smile. “Of all the people in the world, I should know that.. Have done this kind of scenes with him in this drama a million times.”
Okay, jealous much?
Just as she finished tidying up her already perfect hair, Mariko gives Rei a pat on her shoulder before leaving her alone.
“Ganbatte ne,” and with that she slams the dressing room’s door shut.
I let out a breath of relief. At least I can read the sсript in peace now. I have to do something to brush away this nervousness. Nervous is never good. At least in my dictionary.
I went through the stuff I brought in my duffel bag. I should work hard. I shouldn’t mess this up. This is the time I can actually prove myself. One step closer to my dream as a leading actress.
And if I have to give my first kiss on and off screen with an idol I barely even knew, what’s so wrong with that?
The words written on the sсript haunts me.
INT. AKIRA’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
Akira shuts the door.
AKIRA
You shouldn’t be here. Rina-chan would get the wrong idea.
TOMOKO
Then why did you close the door?
Whatever happens behind closed doors would only be known to the ones behind them.
Akira doesn’t answer. He looks away
TOMOKO
Why do you never want to look at me?
Akira looks out of the window.
TOMOKO
Did I remind you of something painful to you?
Akira shoots her a look. Tomoko walks closer to him until her face is just inches away from his.
Tomoko kisses his lips softly, lightly.
TOMOKO
Was it someone special?
Tomoko kisses him again. With more urgency.
TOMOKO
Someone even Rina-chan can’t replace?
Akira finally kisses her back. Pushing his body to hers so hard they fall to the bed next to them and deepened their kiss.
I took another deep breath, completely closing my eyes to get my heartbeat back to its usual rhythm.
Yabai..
Especially imagining that Akira will be acted by none other but the Matsumoto Jun of Arashi.
CHAPTER 2
I walk alongside AD-san (stands for Assistant Director) as she takes me to the set by the beach. From afar I can see an old house not far from the shore.
AD-san seems to be able to read my mind correctly, "As the sun sets, we will move to that house for Scene 60."
By scene 60 she means the scene of me kissing Akira, or Matsumoto Jun..
"Hai, wakarimashita," is all I can get out of my mouth.
But AD-san smiles understandingly, "You must be nervous."
I let out a small laugh.
AD-san continues, "I would if I were you. And we haven't been able to get you rehearse that scene with Matsumoto-san himself. I hope you understand but an idol's schedule is a nightmare. If you see how his schedule makes my life a living hell.. On second thought, no, I won't be nervous. Working with his schedule in this drama kills every single fangirling tendencies in me."
Now she succeeded in making me laugh, "Were you a fan?"
She smiles, "Not much. But I cried on every episode of Hanadan. Which female did not?"
"That's true," I added, "Domyouji is every woman's dream."
"You watch it as well, Kitashiro-san?" AD-san asks again.
"Yes. Not that I am a big fan, but he is awesome in that," I said softly, "I wish I can learn something from him today."
"He is a great guy, aside from his brutal schedule that is, and you will learn a lot from him," AD-san gives me a little squeeze.
"Okay, we are here," she stops as we reach another part of the beach
Behind us a group of extras has been sitting by on standby. In front of us, the crews are setting up the scene.
Everyone is busy with objects; lights, camera, microphones, props, costumes..
In a corner near the rocks, that's the first time I saw him live. Slouching in his seat reading the sсript with an ipod and earphones.
He is already in his costume, a dark blue cotton pants and a V-neck tshirt. Not much different from what I'm wearing, a short jeans and tank tops. But everything about him is different. First, he is surrounded by 2 staff, one is shading him with an umbrella and another is sitting by him talking on the phone furiously. That must be his PA (personal assistant) and his manager. Secondly, he is overflowing with this star aura. No sign of being nervous nor indifferent. Even though most of the extras behind me is keep snatching a look to him, trying to get his attention to no avail. Thirdly, he looks..
"Gorgeous, isn't he?" AD-san wakes me up, again, reading my thoughts exactly.
"Beautiful," I corrected AD-san and it makes her laugh.
"I think he'll like you. Come on, I'll introduce you and brief you guys together,"
I took a deep breath as we approach the man of the day.
"Sumimasen, Matsumoto-san," AD-san bows as we reach the destination.
Only his manager looks up. He gives us a smile as he nudges Matsumoto's knee.
He finally looks up to his manager and his manager instructs with his eyes. Matsumoto-san finally looks up to us, the smiling AD and the nervous co-star, though not much of a star.
I'll never forget that look. His super big brown eyes with a glitter that is both passionate and mysterious.
He gives me a thorough look from the head to toe. That look should be illegal. My heart gives a little nudge. I smile. He smiles back.
His smile is different than that of Mariko's. It wasn't a halfheartedly smile. It was sincere, but unsure. An unsureness that he deliberately doesn't try to cover up.
AD-san introduces us, "Matsumoto-san, this girl is the one who gets through the casting process to be Tomoko, as you've probably have read in the sсript. Her name is Kitashiro Rei-san desu."
To my surprise he immediately rises up from his seat and bows, "Hajimemashite, Matsumoto Jun desu."
"Yoroshiku onegaishimasu," I bow and whispers the words softly.
As I rises up from my bow, he smiles brightly to me, "I am sorry because of my schedule we can't have any rehearsal before this. But I hope we can work well together either way."
I bet that smile can melt the thousand years ice in North Pole. His big brown eyes scrunches a bit as he smiles.
Manager-san, who is still on the phone, rises up as Matsumoto-san gives him a nudge to get his out of his seat.
"Please sit down, Kitashiro-san," Matsumoto-san is still smiling.
A big star with a big heart. It should be illegal to be that perfect.
AD-san gives us a quick briefing, "So first of all we are going to work on Scene number 59 by this beach. Akira-san is walking by the beach with Rina-chan. As Rina chan leaves the scene, Tomoko-chan will sits next to Akira and do the dialogues. We are going to do that scene in about an hour after setting up is done, right over there where the camera is setting up. Director Toshi is going to explain further regarding this scene. Hopefully we can finish up by 3 o'clock at the latest for this scene and we will move up to the house scene for scene number 60.. My assistant is getting Mariko-chan, but she's not ready yet, so would you two please read the scene by yourself first and Director Toshi shortly will arrive to give you directions. I am sorry Matsumoto-san, I know that you prefer to work on rehearsal according to with full cast but Mariko-chan has some trouble with her costume. Any question? Kitashiro-san?"
She caught me off-guard, "Wow, you sure can talk really fast."
AD-san laughs, and so is Matsumoto-san.
"I am sorry, I am very new with all this so I will work hard to adjust," I shyly adds, embarrassed to be laugh at.
"No, she does talk really fast and clear she should be an announcer," Matsumoto-san calmly added and looks up to AD-san, "I've said the exact same thing to her the other day."
He smiles again to me, I look away. I feel his gaze stays on me for a while but I don't dare to look up again.
"My job is to keep up with the schedule, Matsumoto-san, Kitashiro-san, so I have to talk fast. It saves a lot of time," AD-san answers cheerfully, "But I enjoyed behind the scenes work, I won't be an announcer because I don't want fangirls to look at me all the time during work."
AD-san signals to the group fangirls/extras who still can't keep their eyes and drools off the Matsujun.
"It has its perks, sometimes," Matsumoto Jun remarks with a smirk.
I laugh nervously, there's a hint of naughtiness in his remark. I open the sсript and starts to read. I am overwhelmed in the kiss scene too much I almost forgot that there's a long dialogue scene I have to do with him before we are actually doing the big scene.
AD-san gets a call in her walkie talkie, "Hai, i'll be there soon," she answers with an exasperated sigh.
"I'll be back soon, Matsumoto-san, Kitashiro-san," she bows to us and runs off soon after.
We nodded and I watch her as she runs off. I feel Matsumoto-san's movement beside me. He puts on his earphone back and read his sсript again.
I kinda get the point that he is still concentrating with his sсript and without saying anything I read mine as well.
Even though my heart rate beats faster than it used to being beside him like that, I try to concentrate.
Boy, this is harder than I expected.
As the sсript pulls me in, I didn't notice a small look that Matsumoto-san gives to me, then a small smile.
20 minutes have passed by, or perhaps a half an hour. I don't really acknowledge time passing by as we sit next to each other in that beach. We were not alone. Tens of pair of eyes are watching us, but we are content in our own world. I am completely inside Tomoko's head now as i read the sсript. This is one of the things that I love most about acting, you can actually forget yourself and transferred to another world for a while.
To the extent that I didn't hear his voice calling my name until i felt a soft touch on my shoulder.
"Kitashiro-san.."
I startled as the touch gives enough electricity to wake up the dead.
"I am sorry I don't mean to surprise you," he gives a smirk. He surely finds my shocked face entertaining. He doesn't wait for my forgiveness, "Have you memorized all of it? Can we rehearse a bit?"
I nodded shyly and close the sсript. Matsumoto-san did the same.
I close my eyes for a bit, calling Tomoko back to me after Matsumoto-san scares her away with his touch. She returns instantly.
I open my eyes and gives Tomoko's sly smile when I turn my head to Matsumoto-san's Akira.
"So Akira-kun is enjoying himself.."
Matsumoto's Akira holds my gaze for a second that seems like forever. As the sсript indicated, he looks away after a while.
"What are you doing here?" he sighs
"Can't I?"
"Why this spot? There are a lot of other spaces left.."
"But I wanna be where Akira-kun is.."
I lay my head on his shoulder. He shrugs it off a second too late.
"Why?" He snaps.
"Why? Why? You act so high and mighty and yet pushes in your charm to every girl crossing your path. Why, oh, why Akira-kun must know the reason if someone wants to do the same to you.. I wanted to charm you. Why do I want it?.."
Akira cuts in just as he is supposed to, "you just want to hurt Rina-chan."
I smile, well at least, Tomoko smiles, "No.. I just find you irresistible."
I look up to him and met his eyes and keep them there. For a while, I forgot about Tomoko or Akira. I forgot about our surrounding. Right at that moment, it was just the two of us. Matsumoto-san stays quiet and keep his eyes on mine with this indescribable expression. And suddenly he realizes something, he looks a way and gives a nervous laugh.
"Oh sorry, I forgot it is supposed to be my line."
"I think you just need to leave and it ends there, then I will run after you," I check the sсript again. Anywhere to look but that big brown eyes.
"So we got it down?" He looks up and smiles. I give him a nod.
"Where did you learn acting?"
Now that's a question I didn't expect from a lead actor to his guest star.
"Various places. My mom and dad moves around a lot because of their job, but I am pretty determined with what I wanna do in my life so I am pretty active in theatre, ballet and acting classes since I was a little," I tell him my story. A bit too much but he seems interested.
"By moving around a lot, do you mean overseas?" Boy, this guy is very detailed.
"Most of it is in Japan, but I've studied acting in New York before," I humbly states.
"I've watched some broadway shows a couple of years ago," he immediately chips in information.
"Really? Which one?"
"Phantom of the Opera, Lion King, Billy Elliot," he tries to remember.
"I cried during Billy Elliot, both the musical and the film," now I have completely forgot that I am chitchatting with a national super idol. "Did you cry during Billy Elliot?"
He lets out a smirk. And thinks for a while.
"Secret," as he puts a finger in front of the mole just below his lips.
I laugh, "No fair."
"Iwa-kun," he instructs his PA who is still there holding an umbrella all the time, "can you get us our bento, please? And a hot tea for me," he then turns to me, "what do you want to drink?"
"I have my own water, thank you," I showed him my bottle of water.
As Iwa-kun fetch our bentos, he suddenly asks, "do you mind if I drink your water?"
I gulped.
No i don't mind, but does people do this to someone they just met?
I shake my head and give my bottle to him. He drinks it with a smile.
As he give the bottle back to me, I took another sip nervously. The water somehow tasted different now, in a good way of course.
"Just take it as a warm up for the scene we have to do later today."
I choked on my water and coughs. He laughs and pats my back.
"Sorry, just teasing you," he adds between his laugh.
Iwa-kun walked back to us with our bento.
Matsumoto-san opens his as I open mine. He splinters his wooden chopstick and scratch one with the other diligently. I pull an eyebrow at this. This guy is kinda..
"Such a dork, isn't he?" I look up and AD-san has come back and again has read my mind. Matsumoto-san just smirked and eat in silence.
"As you finish up your lunch, please get to the set and we will start. Director Toshi has arrived and would like a word with both of you. Mariko will be here soon as well," AD-san informs in one breath before she runs away again to the set.
Matsumoto-san puts his bento away for a while and takes out his earphone again. Selecting a track in his iPod. Then he puts one earphone to his ear and offer me the other earphone with a smile.
I nodded as a thank you and puts one in my ear.
An unfamiliar song came through the earphone. I am not really an avid music listener but it was relaxing. We continue to eat without a word.
Sometimes I catch a glimpse of him, shaking his head and mumbling to the beat of the music we are listening to. He is so sparkling under the scorching sun that I can't take my eyes off him for a while.
I have to look away, look away! Look away before he catches you and you wouldn't have the courage to kiss him later!
All of a sudden, I can't wait to work on that kissing scene with him.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Any criticism and input will be appreciated. Here is Chapter 3. If you haven't read the first two chapters, you can always refer to the master post.
In addition, the Cut~to is supposed to be "Cut" but I notice from behind the scenes that the Japanese say it this way. And "Start~to" for "Action". I know it supposed to be spelled differently in Katakana but since this fic is in English I just think it makes sense better this way.
CHAPTER 3
"Cut~to!"
Director Toshi cries out happily.
"That's brilliant Matsumoto-san, Kitashiro-san. Please check the VTR!"
Matsumoto-san gave me an approval smile before started to walk to the director's monitor.
I played with the sand a bit underneath me as silence creeps in as Matsumoto-san, Mariko and Director Toshi along with AD-san checks the video.
"OK!" Director Toshi cries out again.
AD-san automatically repeats after him, much louder, "It was an OK! Please get ready for the next shot."
Matsumoto-san walks silently back to his seat whilst Mariko is giving me dagger looks. I look away and plays with the sand again until AD-san approaches me.
It is not my fault that you keep messing up with your lines..
"Kitashiro-san, sugoi ne, you manage to do every shot of you an OK in one take only!" She exclaims so loud it is almost as if she meant it for someone else to hear, "Actresses like you are surely going to make it big because you took your work so seriously."
"Thank you, AD-san. You compliment me too much. It is all thanks to the help of Matsumoto-san. He keeps me relaxed."
"He is an amazing actor and he can sense it when people get nervous around him. Anyways, we are done with you for this set. We still need to get a shot of some extras and other establishing shots but you and Matsumoto-san should just head to the next set. It is comfortable there and no one is going to give you dagger looks anymore," AD-san implies with a soft voice, still fast though.
I think being extremely observational is a must if you work as an Assistant Director.
"Mariko-chan, you are done for the day. Otsukare!" AD-san yells out to the sulking Mariko at the top of her lungs.
I walk back slowly to Matsumoto-san's seat where I left my bag. He was still there, drinking his tea.
As I walk to the old house, I find him trailing behind me.
"Director Toshi likes your acting, he said to me you are very intuitive yet smart," he says in a low voice when he passes by me without stopping even just for a step.
He looks to me over his shoulder, "I just thought you would like to hear what he said."
With that he gives me the sincerest smile I've received all day.
"Thank you!" I yell out as he walks away leaving me behind. He only waves it away with a hand.
Not just for forwarding that compliment, but for being you.
I really wanted to add that line, but just take a deep breath instead. The idea of having him as the first guy to kiss me on and off screen now sounds more and more inviting. Yet, it gets me more and more nervous and the clock ticks closer and closer.
-----
"Cut~to"
Director Toshi cries out desperately now, "Kitashiro-san, please get a grip of yourself already!"
Matsumoto-san have erased Akira-kun's troubled expression away and exchange it with a supporting smile. He punches my shoulder softly, "Don't be so nervous."
Maybe I should tell him that being that sweet will make a girl MORE nervous.
It has been 6 takes already and whenever I deliver the last line before kissing him, I always mess it up. I never mess any lines before. Not that I have many of them in dramas and movies before, but even in theatres, I always manage to deliver them perfectly. It is not even a hard line to say.
Did I remind you of something painful to you? Did I remind you of something painful to you?
Did I remind you of something painful to you?
I keep repeating that line over and over again in my head as we are getting ready for another take.
"Relax, 7 is the magic number. It says so in Harry Potter," Matsumoto-san whispers softly.
Harry Potter? Is this guy for real? I am about to give my lips' virginity and he is mentioning Harry Potter?
Okay, so nobody is perfect. Including him. He could not always say the right thing at the right time. Even when he did, it backfires most of the time.
I just let out a small smile.
AD-san comes over me and gives me a squeeze, "Kitashiro-san, Director Toshi wants me to forward this message. He says it is not you, Kitashiro Rei, kissing Matsumoto Jun, it is Tomoko-chan kissing Akira-kun."
She lets me go with a smile.
It is not me, Kitashiro Rei kissing Matsumoto Jun, It is Tomoko-chan kissing Akira-kun. It is Tomoko kissing Akira. It is Tomoko kissing Akira.
I repeat it over and over in my head, trying to believe in its truth. Okay, this seems like it will work.
"START~TO"
Okay, here we go.
In just a second, Matsumoto-san turns into Akira-kun's with his fidgety movements, deeply troubled expression and heavy breathing. This guy is a genius. And as a plus he has done this kind of job like a million times it comes so naturally for him.
"You shouldn’t be here. Rina-chan would get the wrong idea," He says under that heavy breathing with just the right hint of panic and irony of how different his action and words are as he locks the door of the room.
"Then why did you close the door?Whatever happens behind closed doors would only be known to the ones behind them," the Tomoko in me delivers her line perfectly.
Akira-kun doesn't answer.
"Why do you never want to look at me?" I give it a hint of disappointment instead of being full on flirty and sexy.
"Did I remind you of something painful to you?" I finally says it as I walk closer to him.
Okay, this is it. It is now or never.
I close my eyes and touch my lips to his. His lips are so soft I felt something hard knocks on my chest. And he smells really good..
"CUT~TO!!!!!"
Director Toshi now arrives on the scene.
"NOW WHAT WAS THAT? You are supposed to be dying to kiss him! You want him so much it hurts! And just now you kiss him like it is something so scary to do! Obligation! Work! I need passion!" He screams at me just inches away.
Tears start to roll down my cheek. But it wasn't the Director's words that put me to the edge. It was that I just kiss him horribly and it was my first kiss.
I let out a sob and storms out of the room before whispering something like, "Can I have a minute, please?"
-----
I ran to the beach, to the rocks where I met Matsumoto-san for the first time and taking a deep breath. Tears keep rolling down and I brushes it away. I shouldn't cry. I shouldn't cry. It is my own fault that I never hang out much and keep by myself with the NO APPROACH sign on my head which made me never been kissed before. Hell, no guy even have ever held these hands before, let alone kissing! When I was bound to have this kind of scene sooner or later. I am 23 years old for God's sake. And having my first kiss with a super idol who is super nice shouldn't be a bad thing right? Why am I crying? What would be better than this?
Did i just wish that it was a different situation, anything but work that we got paid from doing it?
"Daijoubu desu ka?" A deep voice calls softly behind me.
It is, of course, so sweet it is sickening, Matsumoto Jun desu.
"I am sorry. I know this is unprofessional, but I just need some time alone," I can't take it anymore, I muttered in a shaky voice.
Instead, he just sits beside me and lets out his iPod again. Can this guy take a hint?
"Are you familiar with my bandmates?" He suddenly asks.
"You mean, Arashi?" I answers dumbfounded.
"You know even though I have acted in a lot of dramas and movies throughout my career, the 'actor' in our group is actually Nino. Ninomiya Kazunari, are you familiar with him?" He states this as he tries to find a track in his iPod.
"Yes, I have watched some of his work," still in my shaky voice. What is he trying to say, I start to wonder.
"He told me before, he hates kissing scenes and even rejected some roles because of having too many of that kind of scenes. Well he did not rejected ALL of it, but kissing scenes and love scenes does make him kinda reluctant," He smiles as he finds the track that he is looking for.
"Why.."
He didn't let me finish and already giving an answer, "he says it is like a scene when you have to die, then do you die for real? Something like that. Until now I didn't quite grasp the meaning of his words but I keep doing this. Kissing scenes, love scenes. Hell, I've already kissed 3 girls in this drama alone including you. They are just a part of our work, right? Consequences of our dream. People tell me that I think too much. But regarding this kind of thing, I don't really think that much or I wouldn't be able to do it. Sometimes it is good that you just forget yourself for a while and go with what is in front of you."
He lets out a small laugh in between his speech, "I learnt that from Aiba-chan. It is very useful sometimes, once i managed to brush off my 'too much thinking' tendencies. But it gets me to experience many interesting and unforgettable moments."
He presses PLAY on his iPod and give me a half of his earphones, "Let's hear a song and we'll head back right after. Deal?"
He looks deeply into my eyes under the moonlight. It's the longest talk he says to anyone during the day as far as I notice and he even lets out his personal thoughts. I gazed at him and when he catches my eyes with his big brown eyes, I couldn't look away anymore.
"Can you play the song that you play this afternoon?" I still can't look away and neither does he.
He smirks, "You don't need to ask." He doesn't select another song and when I hear the tunes from half of the earphones, it is exactly the same relaxing song.
We sit there side by side watching the waves crashing by the shore, listening to the same song again.
"Matsumoto-san.."
"Yes?"
"What's the name of this song?"
"Boku ga Boku no Subete, from Arashi."
Silence. Just the waves and the lovely tunes.
"Matsumoto-san.."
"Yes?"
"Please tell me if this is out of the line, but can you just hold my hand until the song ends?"
Matsumoto-san opens his mouth in surprise for a while. I catch his eyes with my watery eyes. But then he just smiles..
"Sure."
And with that he takes my hand and hold it tightly in between his fingers.
Warmth. Lesson of the day: A super idol has a warm hand.
I wipe away all the leftovers of my tears, "Thank you, Matsumoto-san."
------
"START~TO"
"You shouldn’t be here. Rina-chan would get the wrong idea,"
"Then why did you close the door?Whatever happens behind closed doors would only be known to the ones behind them,"
"Why do you never want to look at me?"
"Did I remind you of something painful to you?"
The lines are delivered one by one in perfect timing, perfect delivery.
I walk closer to Tomoko-chan's Akira-kun. My Matsumoto-san.
This is not me, Kitashiro Rei, kissing Matsumoto-san. This is Tomoko kissing Akira. Tomoko kissing Akira. And she wants him so much that it hurts. Passion. Lust.
I give Matsumoto-san's Akira-kun a good look. His hair stands up perfectly, his eyes has this mysterious aura to it that I find very sexy.. And.. Yes. Tomoko wants him. So much that it hurts.
I close my eyes and grab his neck to give the guy the kiss he will never forget.
Matsumoto-san jerks his body a bit, startled it seems. I pulls away for a bit, just inches away from his beautiful face.
I whisper softly, "Was it someone special?"
I kiss him again. Softly this time. A quick soft peck on his lips, another on his mole just below his lips.
"Someone even Rina-chan.."
"CUT~TO!!!"
Matsumoto-san pulls away abruptly. A bit too fast after the cut.
Director Toshi storms the scene again, "Kitashiro-san, that's exactly what I am talking about! Nice improv. Please do it again one more time!"
Then he turns to Matsumoto-san, "Jun-kun.."
"Hai.."
It is the first time I got a good look on him after that kiss. He seems a bit troubled. Which makes me troubled. Was I bad at kissing? Did I smell bad?
"What do you think about Akira's feelings when Tomoko kiss him?"
"She smells exactly the same as Masami, his dead first love."
Director Toshi adds with a punch at every word, "Whom he MISSES so bad, whom he DREAMS about every night and who he WANTS to get back to so bad but he can't! Your reaction was too taken aback. This kiss has to be different than the other kisses in this drama you've done. You have to show your need!"
Matsumoto-san looks up and stares right into my eyes, "Like I haven't got to eat for days and finally the food is there in front of me.."
He is making me an analogy for food? Is this guy for real?
Director Toshi shakes his head, "Food is bad analogy. More like a drug. This addictive drug."
"Wakarimashita," Jun finally says after thinking about it for a while, all along still holding his gaze right through me.
We are back into our positions in no time.
"Gomen, ne," Matsumoto-san whispers in my ear as he brushes his hand to my arms. My heart jolts at his touch.
"START~TO"
We are at it again in a second.
"Did I remind you of something painful to you?"
Matsumoto-san's Akira-kun just look at me. Hurtful. But he lets me walk closer.
I took one of his hand and put it on my cheek. I put my face a lot closer to him, just inches away. Inches away from the kiss. I get closer to his ear instead, as if wanted to whisper something but, instead, put my mouth on his.
That bit about Tomoko's smell give me this idea. It sends shivers down my spine.
"Was it someone special?" I asked again in a whisper before another soft kiss planted on his lips, then his beautiful mole.
"Someone even Rina-chan can’t replace?" I finally adds again before kissing him again, with more passion. With lust. With wanting.
And all of a sudden Matsumoto-san brushes away my hand that's holding him and cup my face instead. Returning my kiss with need. With lust exploding to its utmost extent.
He puts in his tongue into my mouth. I did the same. As if we are lovers who haven't met for years.
Tomoko-chan kisses her Akira-kun. Tomoko-chan finally kisses her Akira-kun.
I occasionally broke away from the kiss to catch some air, but Matsumoto-san didn't let go that easily and pushes his body to mine and sought after my mouth. His body pushes me to the bed and now I am underneath him, his body right against mine. I feel my blood boiling with passion. And somehow I felt it. I felt it against my crotch that a hard bulge appears just underneath his cotton pants. I kiss him again passionately, wanting more, needing more. I forgot that there are crews around us, watching us. All there is in this world is just me and Matsumoto-san.
No.. This is not Tomoko-chan. He is not Akira-kun. This is me, Kitashiro Rei, kissing my Matsumoto Jun.